Fighting Multiple Sclerosis

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Thankful for everything but so done with it all...

Maybe it's just me but I am so done with everything. I am tired of feeling like I am being used. I have been sick since a very young age and know first hand just how much people can take someone for granted. Except for a select few in my life along with my online MS friends I am so tired of people and there disregard for human life.

Please don't get me wrong I am so very grateful for everything I have in life and I am not talking about materialistic things. I love the people in my life who are true friends. The people who not only call me to talk about there times in life but also the ones who stop and take a minute to ask about me and how life is going for myself. I guess why this is so important to me is because of my illnesses I have learned what is really important in life. I have found so many people are only out there for themselves. What do they get out of it and why should they be there. For example I can have a "friend" call me and need for me to listen and I love listening and helping people out. Those same "friends" who say that if I ever need anything to not hesitate to call them seem to not mean it. I can call them and it seems like within seconds of me talking I get the uh huh yelp yelp hmm huh. It is like they are hearing nothing but there television. So I wonder why do you say to call if you ever need to talk but only listen when it will benefit them?

I just have to stop and wonder what has happened to man kind and there compassion. I would never think of doing such things to someone. Sometimes I just feel like stop talking and see who will really notice. So I have asked myself is it me pushing people away but then I think back as far as I can remember and seems like I have been dealing with this ignorance since I first became sick at a very young age of around 9 or so. I know that everybody in life to some extent deal with this and that is why I want to talk about it.

If you stop and think about it look at all these young children killing themselves b/c other kids are bulling them. What is happening to man kind. Why are people becoming so mean? It absolutely breaks my heart at how people treat one another. Why are we treating one another with such hatred? Are we not supposed to love thy neighbor and to forgive. I am a very strong believer in the fact that it is not mans job to judge each other. I know there isn't a single person on earth that like to be treated ugly so why do they treat others ugly? What happened to the good saying "treat others the way you would want to be treated?

Sorry I have babbled on with this subject but it is close to my heart and I just needed to get it out there. Are you seeing or dealing with this type of treatment. Please leave me a line or two of your thoughts.

God Bless All and Always remember you have a friend in me and you are LOVED...


  1. Hey, I was worried about you today. I wanted to call, but left my phone in my dad's car today, and he's not bringing it back until tomorrow. I've lost so many friends since my MS diagnosis, that I can't count them all. It's sad.

  2. Honey I know I seem like im not paying attention to you when you talk about MS but truely i am and I will try my damnedest to make every effort to show you that you and Michael are the most important people in my life now. I will always be there for you know matter what and I believe in your heart that you know it.Im sorry that the world and the so called friends that you have had since you moved up here to Minnesota have decided to take a big ole crap on you by thinking that you are not the same person, and you know what they are right but what they dont realize is that you are a so much better person then they will ever know.I know I can be a dick at times but I am truely working on that just know that I will do anything for you at any time. I LOVE YOU NICKEY!!!!! You and Michael are my reason for living and working as hard as I do I want you both to not want for anything and to be comfortable. Thats why i want us to move closer to your family so you will have people around you that will not run away from you because you have MS but will run towards you because of it and that accept you for who you are and that is a beautiful and loving wife and mother and friend. I love you honey.
    You devoted but sometimes dick of a husband,

  3. I just happened to stumble onto your site from another one, (the fcgadget.blogspot). I don't have MS, I've know of 2 people that have it, but I'm not close to them. (friend of friends kind of thing). I saw something about Auto-immune disorders and a blog to support people with one. I don't have one, but my best friend does. Your post above hit me, hard. I'm the same way about most of what you talked about. Others that take things for granted, and people that take, take take. Watching a daughter have an attitude with her mother is the one that really peeves me the most. The friends that are 'one way', ughh, been there way too many times. I wish you luck in your journey through the good and bad times of life. Know that one thing will remain true and that's you. Friends will come into your life for a reason and a time, they will slowly leave your life for reasons unknown, not a fight not anything that can be explained, just because you've done your "job". Maybe this friend needs you more than you need her. Maybe you're the only one that listens to her when everyone else just talks or maybe she doesn't listen to you because your not the priority, she's the priority. And I bet she feels the same way about someone in her life that's doing the exact same thing to her as she is to you! I'd just let the relationship take it's path and go on with yours knowing you have a knowledge of what true friendship is. (and her's may not be the one for you). But your husband sounds awesome! If it's him your were talking about, that's just what they call marriage, what man in the world listens 100% of the time....maybe that's good sometimes....